I have to say that 2018 has been a particular rough year for my family. So much bad stuff has happened that I can hardly believed we're all still living through it with as much grace as we can.
For myself, I have sprained an ankle, sprained a knee, been taken to the ER by ambulance twice (once for pulmonary effusion and once for unrelenting chest pain for which I ended up having a heart catheterization). All my meds are under review because hypertension, blood sugar, and bipolar symptoms have all been exceedingly high.
For my daughter, she fell and sprained her ankle badly. When that healed, she was hit by a speeding uninsured driver who flipped and spun her car with Emily and her friend Misty in it. Rescue crews don't know how they survived the accident. The other driver was doing about 100 mph on the highway in the Jaguar he didn't see fit to insure. Emily's trunk ended up resting against the front seat. Both girls were examined thoroughly at the ER with numerous tests done to make sure they were alright. Em is still having unresolved shoulder pain, still suffering from the whiplash, and having hallucinations and flashbacks as well as unrelenting crying spells and rages.
My mom fell and broke her arm on June 19th, was in the hospital when she flatlined for 20 seconds, had a pacemaker inserted, got pneumonia, MRSA, was put on life support twice, and is only getting out of the hospital this coming Monday or Tuesday. She's been doing lots of PT, probably is facing a surgery to free the nerve from bone where it broke, and will be undergoing PT for months and months to come.
Pat and I have been dealing with some family business which is unsavory and is based on faulty information. In addition, he had to leave ADP and take a contracting job nearby which put him on third shift. We hardly get to spend any time together and it's taking a toll on both of us.
There is, of course, good news among all of this.
My family has an extended network of friends and family who are diligent in their prayers for us and have been very encouraging. Our families support us in the things we are facing as a couple. Emily is alive and with counseling and medical help will be able to function again -- she did not die and suffered no severe bodily injury that will incapacitate her for life. She is not a vegetable; she is still as passionate about the things that matter to her as she's always been. Mom has come through everything in ways we dared not even hope for on the worst days. She will be going home in a few days, is still a big prayer warrior for those she loves, and my Dad has been by her side every step of the day.
My brothers and sisters-in-law have all stepped up to help and we've stayed in touch with all of this going on in spite of different schedules and different levels of proximity to Mom and Dad.
While the hurricanes impacted the Carolinas and Florida, Georgia only suffered a bit and where we are didn't get hit at all.
I have much for which I'm grateful, but I'll also be glad when loose ends are tied up and things can get back to normal.
* Queen Elizabeth
Saturday, October 13, 2018
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
"I'm working at trying to be a Christian, and that's serious business." *
For the past few months, I've been going through a time of introspection. Rather haphazardly, in fits and starts more than any seriously dedicated time. It's as if I light on something, but get scared of dealing with it further, so I turn on some music, check facebook, or find something else to distract me from my uncomfortable musings.
Being comfortable in uncomfortable thoughts isn't easy, but I have to believe that true inner growth won't come unless I face those pesky, questionable, and uncomfortable thoughts and learn what I can from them.
Today, the thoughts were about what kind of Christian I am.
How I perceive Christianity has changed so much since I first became a believer in Christ.
At a very young age, things were fairly simple. It was told to me that Jesus was God's son in human form. He was born at Christmas and grew up with Mary and Joseph. He loved us very much. I believed that without question, without thinking that anything would be expected of me because of that belief. I was told that Jesus would be how I went to heaven and that I needed to be good.
Later I was told I needed to believe all the right things about Jesus to be "saved". Virgin birth, baptized, never sinned, died, rose again, was drawn up into heaven.
Still later, I was told that I needed to believe all the things good Christians believed to be saved.
I learned, and espoused, many things that people interpreted the Bible to say: Democrats are misguided at best and evil at worst. Santa Claus is a sin. Christmas trees are pagan. Voting is our religious duty. Voting Republican is the only way to have a godly government. Divorced people are sinning if they remarry. Homosexuals are bad. Hate the sin, love the sinner. Christians don't drink or smoke. Drug addicts are evil, and if there is a term for infinitely more than evil, then drug dealers are that. Gang members are worthless, etc.
I was in an emotionally abusive marriage to a man who used the Bible to admonish me and his version of Christianity was the one I was faced with every day.
I left the church a long number of years ago because I couldn't live up to the ideals of Christianity as I was dealing with them in my marriage. I was also going to a very conservative church in an extremely conservative town and my questions about right and wrong and what was and wasn't required to be a "good Christian" didn't sit well with the "in crowd." So I left. For a myriad of other reasons, too, which I won't go into now.
For some time, I've been thinking about Jesus...and wanting to get to know what HE says about all of these things. I've decided to "read the red" -- the words attributed to Jesus in the gospels, and the gospels, bit by bit, to see what Jesus is REALLY all about. I've been listening to the Jesus Christ Superstar, Live soundtrack a lot lately and have come to realize anew that I don't know much about Christ -- just what others have told me about him. We shall see where this leads.
*Maya Angelou
Being comfortable in uncomfortable thoughts isn't easy, but I have to believe that true inner growth won't come unless I face those pesky, questionable, and uncomfortable thoughts and learn what I can from them.
Today, the thoughts were about what kind of Christian I am.
How I perceive Christianity has changed so much since I first became a believer in Christ.
At a very young age, things were fairly simple. It was told to me that Jesus was God's son in human form. He was born at Christmas and grew up with Mary and Joseph. He loved us very much. I believed that without question, without thinking that anything would be expected of me because of that belief. I was told that Jesus would be how I went to heaven and that I needed to be good.
Later I was told I needed to believe all the right things about Jesus to be "saved". Virgin birth, baptized, never sinned, died, rose again, was drawn up into heaven.
Still later, I was told that I needed to believe all the things good Christians believed to be saved.
I learned, and espoused, many things that people interpreted the Bible to say: Democrats are misguided at best and evil at worst. Santa Claus is a sin. Christmas trees are pagan. Voting is our religious duty. Voting Republican is the only way to have a godly government. Divorced people are sinning if they remarry. Homosexuals are bad. Hate the sin, love the sinner. Christians don't drink or smoke. Drug addicts are evil, and if there is a term for infinitely more than evil, then drug dealers are that. Gang members are worthless, etc.
I was in an emotionally abusive marriage to a man who used the Bible to admonish me and his version of Christianity was the one I was faced with every day.
I left the church a long number of years ago because I couldn't live up to the ideals of Christianity as I was dealing with them in my marriage. I was also going to a very conservative church in an extremely conservative town and my questions about right and wrong and what was and wasn't required to be a "good Christian" didn't sit well with the "in crowd." So I left. For a myriad of other reasons, too, which I won't go into now.
For some time, I've been thinking about Jesus...and wanting to get to know what HE says about all of these things. I've decided to "read the red" -- the words attributed to Jesus in the gospels, and the gospels, bit by bit, to see what Jesus is REALLY all about. I've been listening to the Jesus Christ Superstar, Live soundtrack a lot lately and have come to realize anew that I don't know much about Christ -- just what others have told me about him. We shall see where this leads.
*Maya Angelou
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